Breaking Free From the Fear and Self-Doubt Gremlins

When was the last time you were afraid? Was it right before a big meeting? How about the moment you discovered a spider crawling in your bathroom? Fear and self-doubt are powerful emotions. These emotions are like little gremlins who camp out on your shoulders and whisper in your ear that you’ll never be good enough, smart enough, or brave enough.

​But know this: you are stronger than your fears. And you have the power to break free.

Fear begins in the amygdala¹. This part of your brain triggers your nervous system to respond to risks and potential failures. While these reactions from our brains helpfully warned us of danger in our cave-dwelling days, such a response from our nervous system is not as helpful in sending emails or making important phone calls. In fact, the function of this biological warning system may be what’s keeping you from experiencing positively life-changing opportunities.

There is also self-doubt. This emotion can be traced back to internalized negative experiences. Let’s go back in time: Your teacher just failed your school project. Or maybe your parents just grounded you. Eventually, these experiences can cause you to question your worth. Then, it is only a matter of time before these doubts and thought patterns are so ingrained in your mind that they influence all your decisions and actions.

​The first step toward overcoming fear and self-doubt is to recognize that they are emotional responses, not reflections of your true capability.

You may feel swallowed whole by the thought of trying to overcome self-doubt and fear. Sadly, staying stuck in this emotional feedback loop means opportunities will continue to pass you by and goals will remain just dreams. Say goodbye to restoring the boat or running that marathon. Living with fear and self-doubt as your constant companions means you will forever settle for less than you deserve because you believe it is all you can achieve.

​Giving in to fear and self-doubt has a high cost. It erodes your self-esteem, confidence, and happiness. Breaking free from these tricky emotional gremlins requires both a change in action and a transformation in how you see yourself.

Now, there is good news. You can overcome fear and self-doubt with deliberate strategies and persistent effort. Here are some ways to do just that:

Failure at something does not mean you as a person are a failure. Instead, it is evidence that you are trying to learn and grow. When you reframe failure as feedback, it no longer has the power to shame you.

​So what if you failed that test for a second (or third) time? Instead of telling yourself that failing to pass the test means you are a failure, reframe the scenario and ask yourself: "What can I learn from this?" "How will what I’ve learned help me the next time?"

Everyone believes something about themselves that isn’t based on reality—yourself included. Maybe you’re convinced you’re bad at public speaking or don’t quite have what it takes to lead a team project. It is time to question these beliefs.

​Look for evidence of when you excelled at a public speaking function or successfully led a team project. Even if the examples are small, challenging negative beliefs about yourself will help you change.

Your mind looks for confirmation of what you believe. Feed it beliefs that serve you

Now's the time to practice courage. Not tomorrow, not a week from now—today.

​What’s one small action you can do today (or even this very moment) that will push you slightly out of your comfort zone? Maybe you phone a friend to share a business idea or finally sign up for those sailing lessons. Each time you act despite your fears and self-doubts, you weaken the grip these emotional gremlins have on your life.

Picture yourself succeeding. You called your friend. You wrote that email. You took the first step. Engage all your senses. Can you hear the applause? Do you feel that satisfaction? Visualizing what comes after that first step can help program your mind for success.

Evidence¹ shows that positive self-affirmations truly do work. So, what statements can you begin to tell yourself? Maybe, "I am capable," or "I handle challenges with grace." If you don’t know where to start with positive affirmations, consider looking into books on building self-confidence. You may find the words of others invaluable as you begin this new mindset-changing habit.

Each day, write down three things you are grateful for and three things you did well. Focusing on your strengths and achievements builds a resilient, positive mindset.

Here’s the secret: Fear and self-doubt will always find a way to tell you you’re not good enough.
But you don’t have to listen to these pesky emotional gremlins. You have the power to overcome fear and self-doubt.

​Start by telling yourself that you are the kind of person who is brave, capable, and deserving of success. Every time you take a courageous action, no matter how small, you reinforce this new identity. And the more you practice, the better you can live the life you want.

Are you ready to say goodbye to fear and self-doubt? Are you ready to live the life you have always wanted? Secrets of Success can help. We offer exclusive access to knowledge and ideas from individuals who have found ways to be successful, even in the face of failure and self-doubt. Click on the link now to learn more about our resources on mindset and success.

¹https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/5-things-you-never-knew-about-fear

¹https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4814782/