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How to Be Confident Without Being Cocky

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Tuesday, February 04, 2025

Confidence is magnetic and attractive. Those who have hacked the confidence success secret use the Law of Attraction, and good things flow to them.

Many people mistake cockiness for confidence. One drives you toward success, and the other steers you in the other direction.

Will you know if you’ve overstepped the boundary from confidence into cockiness? How can you establish (or reestablish) the right amount of self-assuredness for better success? And why does it matter as an entrepreneur, employer, or employee?

​You’ll find the answers to these questions and much more below. You don’t want to miss this must-read on confidence without arrogance. You’ll learn the difference between the two and how to become more of the right one.

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Cockiness Explained

Cocky. This word comes from how a rooster, or cockerel, struts around a chicken coop, acting like he's the best, brightest, and bossiest among the chickens. Put him with another rooster, and he's bound to start a fight over who rules the roost.

​What does it mean to be cocky or arrogant, and how does a cocky person act? Someone who is cocky typically:

  • Boasts about themselves and their achievements.
  • Needs to be right all the time.
  • Argues to prove their point.
  • Inserts their opinions into conversations.
  • Talks more than they work.
  • Has little to no patience or flexibility with others’ opinions.
  • Takes all the credit and passes along all the blame.

Do the above sound like you or anyone you know? It may be easy to point a finger at others who show these traits. However, consider your own speech, actions, and intentions.

​Read below for some vital reasons why you want to address cockiness early and often.

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Pitfalls

The way you're perceived matters. You want people to enjoy being around you. You'll enjoy improved relationships, business outcomes, and lifetime achievements.

​Being likable helps you achieve greater accomplishments. That's because other people hold your future in their hands. They can either help you unlock and open doors of opportunity or close them on you.

​Cocky people repel others. Arrogance eventually blocks your pathways to success.

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Professional Jeopardy

Cockiness can lead to lost leadership roles, promotions, partnerships, and friendships. You stand to lose good customers and workers. People shy away from talking to you, leading to a loss of creativity within your company.

​As an entrepreneur or employer, you want to recognize employees who may be overstepping the boundary into cockiness. They can jeopardize your relationships with other employees, business partners, and clients.

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Becoming Confident, Not Cocky

You can't fake confidence. It has to come from within, and you'll learn how in the next section.
Confident people operate on a different playing field than those without it. They have a quiet strength. They stay focused on tasks. They aren't distracted by others who are working towards their own achievements.

Confident people don't give up. Mistakes don't sideline them. They learn from them and accept advice. They create because they were born to create—accolades are a by-product.

Confident people don't look around to see who is noticing their progress. Yet, they get noticed, anyway. They have a leadership quality and charisma that garners attention.

Confident people gain trust and respect without snatching at it. Trying to grip greatness too tightly is like trying to hold sand—it will slip away from you if you clutch it too desperately. Confident people aren't desperate for attention or praise.

Results speak louder than words for the confident person. They think and act more than talk.
Confident people don't keep others down. They know that there's room for everyone to be successful.

​You can work on building confidence. Start by reading books on mindset and success. Here’s nine more steps to cultivate confidence while steering clear of cockiness:

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Build Confidence Step by Step

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1. Read Great Self-Development Authors

Take advice from successful people. Join a book club to further connect with the material and like-minded people. It will help you stay accountable and learn more from your reading.

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2. Acknowledge Shortcomings and Limitations

You aren't perfect. It's okay to make mistakes. Own up to those mistakes instead of blaming others or lying. Show humility in your weaker areas and gentleness with others in theirs.

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3. Give Compliments

Blowing out another person's candle doesn't make yours any brighter. Uplifting others doesn't bring you down. Learn to recognize and celebrate the good in others and their accomplishments. There's room for many stars to shine.

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4. Learn Your Strengths and Hone Them

You were born unique with special skills, interests, and talents. Get in touch with those and sharpen them to create a skillset that is uniquely you.

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5. Practice Gratitude

No man is an island—you are made up of others who helped you get where you are. Be openly thankful for those who help you along the way.

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6. Listen More Than You Talk

Let others talk. Actively listen when they do. Ask questions to show your engagement. Remember that everyone has an opinion. It's okay to keep yours to yourself.

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7. Remind Yourself You Don't Know It All

You don't have all the correct answers or opinions. Neither do others have all the wrong ones. Let other people have their beliefs without arguing with them.

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8. Practice Mindfulness

Try viewing yourself, your speech, and your actions from an outsider's perspective. Do you monopolize conversations too often? Do you overshare your opinions?

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9. Monitor and Adjust Frequently

Cockiness could creep in at any point in life. Keep checking in with yourself. Have a trusted confidant help you monitor your actions.

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Empathy

Approach cockiness (yours or others) with empathy. Understand that the cockiest of people usually have poor self-esteem. Choose to forgive yourself or others for this shortcoming.

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Always Keep Improving

So how can you make sure you keep cockiness in check and cultivate a self-assuredness that boosts your chances of success? Keep reading success mindset resources.

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