Resiliency is the ability to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties. It also describes a substance’s or object’s ability to spring back into shape. In other words, resiliency is toughness and the ability to bounce back from obstacles.
Setbacks happen. You can’t control everything that happens to you in life, but you can 100% control your reaction.
Essential to Success
More than education or experience, resilience is the top secret of success. You’ll experience many obstacles on your road to personal, workplace, and career achievements, but how quickly you overcome them will make the difference.
Get back up as many times as you get knocked down. Resilient people treat mistakes as lessons and turn less-than-favorable circumstances into advantageous opportunities.
Nature vs. Nurture
Sure, some people seem born resilient. We can observe kids at a playground who fall and skin their knees. Some will start playing again in no time, brushing the dirt off and picking right back up where they left off.
Most others, however, will need consoling, maybe even a cooling-off period and a pep talk before returning to play. They might even return home for the rest of the day.
Some people seem born resilient, while others aren’t. Can those not naturally inclined to bounce back from hardships learn it? Yes!
The Makings of the “Naturally” Resilient
Back to those hardy youngsters on the playground–they grow into unshakeable adults. And what gives a kid or adult this essential key to success?
Researchers looked into that over a 12-year study of Illinois Bell Telephone employees. The company cut the workforce to almost half during a particularly rough economic period. Those who kept their jobs experienced high stress. Here’s what the research uncovered about the resilient ones:
- Childhood Stress –Those who experienced stressful home lives as young children dealt with their on-the-job stress the best. The types of childhood stressors included:
- Serious physical, mental health, and substance abuse issues within the family
- Divorce and disruptive living changes
- Harsh (even abusive) family members
- Purpose – Resilient adults were given extra purpose in their young lives, singled out as exceptional in meaningful ways, such as for maturity or talent. As a result, their lives became more purpose-driven. They approached family, school, community, and jobs with this heightened sense of purpose and experienced more advantages.
- Nurture – Their hardiness, abilities, and heightened sense of purpose gained positive feedback from adults. Mentors, teachers, and other trusted adults raised them. Furthermore, they nurtured them with gifts, extra responsibilities, freedom, or a combination of any or all of these. Praise and encouragement boosted their confidence. They connected their actions to their favorable outcomes.
- Sociability – These resilient young people received positive feedback from outsiders and learned to value relationships. They pursued good-quality relationships and found it easy to approach friends or mentors for help, improving their decision-making and expanding their resources.
The Takeaway
Don’t worry if the kind of childhood that builds hardiness and resilience isn’t your history. You can cultivate it yourself. Here are seven tips for creating a brush-the-dirt-off attitude:
1. Develop a growth mindset. You are capable of developing any ability you want. Often, adults assume that if they weren’t born with a natural inclination or don’t have an ability by a certain age, they’ll never have it. That’s called a fixed mindset, and it’s false. Keep your mind in a ‘can-do’ headspace by checking out our growth mindset online library. Motivational authors can help you solidify this healthy mentality.
2. Practice commitment. People with resilience give a job their full attention, effort, and creativity. Despite challenging managers, co-workers, or customers, make the best of your job. Refuse to quit just because the going gets tough.
3. Develop an attitude of control. You can’t control everything in life, but find little snippets of influence where you can. For example, if the opportunity presents itself at work to tackle a difficult task, go for it. You can be a catalyst for change.
4. Welcome challenges. Stress and challenge are necessary for growth and success. Don’t shy away from something just because it seems complicated at the outset. Doing hard things:
- Calluses the mind, making you mentally tougher.
- May turn out to be easier than expected.
- Puts you further along on a path to success even if you fall short of your goal.
5. Acknowledge the root cause of the feeling. When we can connect to our emotions (like “stressed”), we can then work backward to get to the underlying cause of it (like “rude customer”). Then, we can calm ourselves by inserting cold, hard facts into the mix. For example, in this scenario, we might tell ourselves that we had only one rude customer out of all the others we’ve encountered in the past several months (and that’s a pretty good statistic).
6. Build a support network. It’s never too late to start mindfully creating bonds with others. Ask your support system for advice or to be your sounding board. You’ll find that others find purpose in helping others.
7. Accept failure as part of the process. You’ll never get everything perfect on the first try 100% of the time. When you make a mistake, chalk it up as a part of being human. Examine your errors to find lessons that allow you to move forward more successfully.
Start Now
Your home and work life will present you with changes and challenges you must overcome and adapt to. From dealing with clashing personalities to adopting new tech, life will continue to insert speed bumps into your journey.
Start cultivating resilience in your life so that setbacks don’t hold you back. When you do, you’ll see improvements across the board, including your morale, performance, and health.
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