Why Authenticity Is Hard and What You Can Do About It

You were born unique. You had a mind and personality all your own.

Your unique self matured and morphed as you learned societal norms. You found traits you liked in other people that you imitated. You saw other characteristics you didn’t like and tried to be different from that–whatever that was.

A mixed bag of beliefs, views, and wisdom compounded with your inborn and unique personality. All these things make you who you are today. And who you are today won’t be who you are tomorrow or ten years from now as you continue to grow in wisdom, knowledge, and experiences.

So, how can you, with your mixed bag of traits, be your authentic self? After all, knowing who you are and aligning your behavior with your inner being (values) is the best way to achieve satisfaction and success in life.

​Let’s look at self-expression and authenticity. We’ll cover how it can sometimes be a struggle to be authentic and how to overcome some of the most common obstacles.

You have at least two selves. 1) The self that you show to others. You can tailor what you show based on who you’re around, and 2) the self that is your inner voice. This one begs to create something.

Self-expression is your ability to communicate that inner voice–those feelings and thoughts–in various ways, like written or spoken language, physical movement, or art.

Your whole self is holistically well and content when you can match what you do on the outside with what your inner voice is begging you to do on the inside.

Sounds simple enough, right? Match the inner voice with outer actions.

So, why is it so difficult to do? Why do so many struggle to figure out what that voice is saying?

In a loud, fast-paced world, that small, still whisper of a voice can be hard to hear and recognize.

​Let’s look at how you can stop going through the motions of everyday life and start reconnecting with your inner self for a more satisfied, successful life.

You might have spent so long trying to be a version of yourself that you thought others wanted or needed. You may need time and experimentation to dig into the deepest part of yourself that is meant to shine.

​Here are some ways to reconnect to your authentic self and discover what your inner voice desires to express.

Popular speaker and women’s right-to-vote activist of the 1920s, author Elsie Lincoln Benedict, was the queen of personality analysis. Much of Elsie Lincoln Benedict’s books and work on the subject contributed to today’s modern assessment methods.

If you’ve lost any bit of yourself, reunite again by getting a feel for who you truly are–take a personality assessment. The best way to answer questions in these quizzes is to think of how your childhood self would answer.

​You’ll find all kinds of personality quizzes online. A few of the most useful ones to start your journey with are the:

Understand.me might also provide you with a lot of insight as they have many of these assessments right in one place.

Get honest with how your life is at the moment. Accept that all your choices led you to your exact spot in life. You couldn’t control some things, but you had control over your actions and reactions. You don’t have to be proud of everything to reach acceptance. You just have to be realistic.

Pause daily to reflect on what went well, what taught you something, and what might benefit Future You even though it may have been a struggle. Thankfulness helps ward off negativity and depressive thoughts.

Life gets busy–your job, significant other, children, pets, parents, grandparents, social media, and binge-worthy television all call out to you to pay attention to them.

​Take a few minutes every week (every day, if possible) to escape their clutches. Go into your fortress of solitude, wherever that may be for you, and get still and quiet. Use a meditation guide to quiet your mind or just bask in complete, unplugged silence. It may take some practice, but soon enough, you’ll begin to connect with your inner voice that tells you what it desires to create.

Take a not-so-risky risk and try something new, something you may have wanted to do for a long time. It can help you reconnect with your inner child, who was freer from societal influences. Take the course. Try out for that team. You may unlock a life-altering passion.

Reading boosts creativity, connects you to life’s truths, and can help you de-stress. When you read, you learn new things and life lessons. Reading materials, like success mindset books, can even lift your spirits and promote a more resilient attitude.

Remember how it felt as a kid to enjoy everything in the moment? You weren’t thinking of work or your bank account. Mindfulness is all about living and enjoying the present moment.

​Try to recognize anxious thoughts as they slip into your mind. Any idea that takes you out of the present moment prevents you from living mindfully. Catch those extra thoughts and purposefully put them on the back burner. You can deal with anything later.

There’s a big difference between being authentic and expressing yourself and being cruel. Self-expression is never about expressing your negative opinions of others or their creative expressions.

Authenticity and self-expression are about you and you alone. It’s about putting something uniquely you into the world to connect with yourself and others and help you live your most satisfactory and successful life.
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