Decoding Nonverbal Cues

"Modern science has proved that the fundamental traits of every individual are indelibly stamped in the shape of his body, head, face and hands—an X-ray by which you can read the characteristics of any person on sight."—Elsie Lincoln Benedict

Elsie Lincoln Benedict was an influential personal development speaker and figure in the women’s suffragist movement of the 1920s. She was also a leader in personality analysis and human behavior. Her work significantly contributed to modern-day personality assessment methods.

One of Elsie Lincoln Benedict’s books, “How to Analyze People on Sight,” is particularly well-known. In it, she shares her knowledge of how to read a person—their bodies, body language, facial expressions, or intonations.

Nonverbal cues are clues. They impart valuable information about a person or situation, such as how that person might feel, their understanding of information, their intentions, or how to approach them.

Paying attention to and being able to read nonverbal communication pays off. Whether you’re interviewing for a job or in charge of hiring, picking up on what a person displays along with (or despite) what they say is an invaluable skill.

The advantages of reading nonverbal communication extend beyond professional development. Being able to read your kids, your friends, your kids’ friends, your significant other, or anybody else in the world will help you tailor your communication in ways that mutually benefit both of you.

​Let’s look into some fundamentals of nonverbal communication below.

What is nonverbal communication? Nonverbal cues involve everything that isn’t the spoken, written, or signed word. It includes space, gestures, body stance, facial expressions, and more.

​Ready to find out what some specific nonverbal communications are? Keep reading.

Facial expression is one of the most common forms of nonverbal cues. Mouths, eyes, eyebrows, and facial muscles give away information.

Body language refers to how someone positions their body. For example, pointing your feet towards a person shows interest, and pointing away indicates disinterest. Or, someone might cross their arms if they feel guarded, nervous, or upset.

Somewhere in the mix of facial expression and body language is eye contact. Your eyes naturally fix on whatever is interesting to you. Eye contact shows a person is engaged or interested, and lack of it means the opposite.

Arm and leg movement can tell you a lot about a person. Slow versus quick movements tell you if they are at ease or unease. Someone who sits still with eyes fixed on you is engaged in what you’re saying. Someone making quick movements might be in a rush.

Gestures vary based on communities and ethnicities. Sometimes, they are used intentionally, like giving a high five. Other times, they are used accidentally, such as “talking” with your hands. Both help convey information.

​Big gestures can communicate excitement or trouble. Small gestures can relay nervousness.

Distances between people “say” something. Closing the gap shows interest or desire, importance, and comfort. Increased distances display the opposite. You might also stand farther away from someone new as you’re unsure of each other’s boundaries, but you stand much closer when you are familiar with them.

How someone stands or sits can communicate their confidence, comfort, maturity, or overall disposition towards a person or communication. For example, you might notice slouched shoulders if a person is sad, disappointed, tired, or frustrated.

Paralanguage deals with non-language aspects of speech. These include volume levels, intonations, pitches, and speeds, to name a few. For example, talking fast conveys excitement.

Touch can convey meaning but varies widely based on learned social norms. People often use it to convey comfort or support, such as touching a person’s arm to express care.

Learning nonverbal communication helps you develop a sixth sense about other people. It also enables you to improve how others perceive you.

You learn how your posture affects what you say, how looking someone in the eye makes them feel, and what your spacing and movements convey.

Managing your nonverbal communication helps you approach others the right way and become more approachable. This secret of success allows you to craft your image.

What do you project to others with your nonverbal communication?

Check your posture. Are you sitting or standing straight, shoulders back and down, so that you appear confident, open, and engaged?

What about your arm movements? Are they relaxed and by your side so that you appear at ease and approachable, or are they crossed in front of you as if you put up a boundary?

What are your feet doing? Do you have your legs crossed as if you are closed off or your feet facing away from someone as if you’re ready to go in the opposite direction?

​Be mindful of your facial expressions. A furrowed brow can convey confusion, disapproval, or disbelief.

Developing the ability to read people’s nonverbal cues requires ongoing learning and practice. Often, your “intuition” is behavior patterns you subconsciously pick up on.

Everyone has a unique brand of nonverbal communication. To understand the individual and their nonverbals, you must get to know them and pay close attention to their habits. Consider a person’s nonverbal and verbal messages to form a more well-rounded opinion.

You can learn more about nonverbal communication in books about success, such as those by Elsie Lincoln Benedict. She and other authors on reading people can help you hone this precious skill.

​Understanding nonverbal cues is fascinating and practical for professional or personal development. It’s a skill that requires ongoing learning and practice to get better.