How to Win Friends and Influence People

I am a hyper introvert and don't get out much. Most of my interactions are either at work, with family, or with cashiers (if delivery or self-checkout is not available). I don't have any friends. I picked up this book because I was inspired by an interaction on a work trip with someone who made me feel like I meant something for the first time outside of family. This inspired me to become a better version of myself in some ways. One inspiration was to become more like her so that I could help others feel the same way. Because of this experience, I think I understand better the value of genuine connection with other humans, and I want to do it more and better. Picking up this book was one of the first steps of this process. Upon reading it, I was amazed that a lot of the principles outlined in this book were practiced directly by the person who inspired me.

 

At a fundamental level, the book outlines interpersonal tools. Tools can be used to manipulate, but they can also be used to build. At a deep level, we desire to be seen, recognized, and built up. The Golden Rule wouldn't have any meaning if we didn't care about ourselves. If people could spend more time building each other up, the world would be a better place for everyone. By expanding that world beyond the confines of our own egos and practicing the principles in this book, each one of us can make a difference.

I purchased How to Win Friends & Influence People for myself, and I’m so glad I did! This classic book by Dale Carnegie is full of timeless wisdom on how to build stronger relationships, both personally and professionally. The advice is practical and easy to implement, from listening actively to giving sincere compliments—small changes that make a big difference in how people respond to you.

 

What I love most about this book is how it focuses on the importance of empathy and understanding others, rather than just focusing on self-promotion. It has already helped me improve my communication skills and develop more meaningful connections with those around me.

 

If you’re looking to boost your social skills or simply want to become a better communicator, I highly recommend this book. It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to make a positive impact on their relationships and influence people in a genuine way.

Think of any person who has had a profound positive influence on your life (a former coach, teacher, parent, boss, etc), and most likely that person has adhered to the concepts Dale Carnegie lays out in How To Win Friends & Influence People. This positive influence may have strictly adhered to the concepts in this book without even knowing of its existence.

 

Mr. Carnegie has created a masterpiece on dealing with people that has endured the test of time (published in the 1930s) that is relevant now more than ever.

 

Although I agree with every single concept Mr. Carnegie lays out in this book, I must admit that, unfortunately, in my experience in life, there will be MANY people you will have to deal with who are not worthy of the unconditional understanding and seeing things from their point of view as described in this book. These people should simply be removed from your life in order for you to attain a desirable and worthwhile existence.

 

I have marked dozens of pages and quotes from this book that I plan to revisit often. If you want to be a genuine person who others will admire, then this book is for you.

Despite its age (it has been revised many times, so it isn't really out of date), this remains the #1 book on improving your business and social interactions. Don't let that fool you, though: you can use its advice in casual and family situations, too.

 

I would say this is not a "self-help" book, in the sense that it isn't focused on "the self". In fact, it's the exact opposite: it teaches you how to focus on the other person. There's no assertiveness training, no navel gazing. It takes a "bread cast upon the waters" approach, and the goal is to make other people want to form a mutually beneficial relationship with you. The overall theme is that if you give the other person more than their share of the "air in the room", they will happily share it with you. It advises against trying to be the alpha, cowing the other person into submission; the goal is to gain a partner, if not a friend.

 

Despite the way it may sound, it also isn't a textbook on manipulation. The emphasis is on respect, sympathy, and understanding. It outlines ways of understanding what makes the other person tick. There is a bit of "fake it till you make it", but the hope is that you will quickly come to internalize what Carnegie calls his "principles". He believed that you would get such pleasure and such immediate rewards that it wouldn't take long. Understanding how easy it is to blast through what is an easy read, he advises that you read the book and then go back and really try to absorb it.

 

That being said, everything is anecdotal. There is no rigorous scientific basis to any of it, no control group. I have a background that includes a decent understanding of the scientific method and statistics, so I can't say that any of this is proven or even tested. It is, however, a tiny investment of time and energy in something that is, at worst, harmless. As with anything based on anecdotes, fables, or proverbs, if it works for you, then it works.

Easy-to-understand advice for building and improving positive and successful relationships with people in all areas of your life. Not a book per se for making friends, although it certainly can be used that way (with a grain of salt perhaps), but more directly a book that promotes good communication, kindness, and the social skills to foster healthy and productive working relationships.

 

I can see how some people are taken aback by Carnegie’s advice. You have to be in the right frame of mind to truly gain from this book. Go into it with a reflective approach and a genuine and concentrated effort to gain wisdom, and you will be rewarded with the insights to achieve the goodwill of others as well as solid and lasting relationships.

This book is a guide to life. I think several people should be required to read this book at least once. Teachers, emotional teenagers, employers, employees, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, politicians, etc.

 

I truly found this book oddly entertaining. Although it is a self-improvement type book, I couldn't put it down. Through the examples of many famous and successful people throughout history, this book teaches us how to work with others and be nice. I sincerely believed that my ability to effectively communicate and work with other people improved exponentially through reading this book and putting what I learned into action.

 

I love this book and am going to require that my children read it before they get a job, a driver's license, or a date.

Everyone could benefit from reading this right now, when the world is more divided than ever.  

The main takeaway is to empathize with others and see things from their point of view.

 

This is great, age-old advice for business and personal success. I’ve actually learned a lot of these techniques in my business classes.

 

I admit I’m not the best at applying these principles, even though I’ve been familiar with them for a long time. This was an amazing refresher.

 

Basically, you can’t create positive change in the world by attacking, criticizing, or belittling others. Real change comes from finding empathy, compassion, and common ground.

I'm on a journey to improve myself, and this book was the second one I bought with that in mind. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but, probably because it was encouraged by the book itself, I pulled out my pens, highlighters, and sticky notes as I read. I haven't finished quite yet -- really only just started -- but I am not incredibly grateful already for the advice this book gives, but also in the way it is presented. I will be rereading this book often and would totally recommend it to anyone else starting their self-improvement journey!